How To Survive The Torment Of A Stalker

The sound of a phone ringing awakened me, as I tried to collect my thoughts. My mind was clouded with the heavy fog of sleep. The clock glowed 2:00 a.m. in the darkness of my room. Who would be calling me at this time of the night I thought nervously, reaching for the persistence phone.

“Hello” I hoarsely whispered into the receiver. Heavy breathing on the other end echoed back at me. I repeated “Hello” once again more loudly this time. Eerie heavy breathing seemed magnified in the still of the dark night.

I hung up the phone and a chill ran down my spine and the small hairs stood up on my neck as I wondered who was on the other end of the deafening breathing. I checked my caller ID and it registered as an unknown caller. Not again, I thought to myself. Why was this person harassing me? Why was I getting these crazy calls at all hours of the night and day, and never a word spoken, just deafening stillness.

Suddenly my phone rang again, the same “unknown caller” ID flashed across my phone. “Who is this,” I demanded curtly. Again I was met with the same lack of response just a heavy breathing on the other end.

“Do not call me any more, I will not answer.”

“I am calling the phone company and the authorities,” I shouted as I turned the power off my phone, wishing I could slam it down for emphasis.

My sleep was now destroyed as I lay there, my mind racing with scenarios of this faceless monster carrying out all kinds of horrible abusive acts.

Did you know an estimated 3.4 million people report that they are victims of stalking each year? According to statistics compiled by the U.S. Department of Justice’s Bureau of Justice Statistics from 2014. The Bureau of Justice found that half of these victims were contacted every week, and at least 11% had been stalked for 5 years or more.

The Bureau of Justice found:

  • Approximately 1/3 of stalkers are repeat offenders.
  • 76% of the people being stalked are by someone they know or were intimate with.
  • Former intimate partners’ stalk 46 percent of male victims and 66 % of female victims.
  • 54% of the victims reported stalking to police before their stalkers killed them.

What is the definition of Stalking?
A type of conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear. Individuals must have feared for their safety or that of a family member as a result of the course of conduct, or have experienced additional threatening behaviors. Most of these people believe they will be harmed physically or killed.

Victims of Stalking behavior will normally incur one or more of the following behaviors:

  1. Receive unwanted phone calls.
  2. Receive unsolicited letters or emails.
  3. Have rumors spread about them.
  4. They will be followed, or the person will show up at a work place, their home or elsewhere.
  5. Spying on a person with a listening device, camera or global positioning system.

The Justice Bureau reports, about 130,000 victims in 2014 reported that they had been fired or asked to leave their job because of the stalking. About one in eight of all employed stalking victims lost time from work because of fear for their safety or to pursue activities such as getting a restraining order or testifying in court.

The Justice Bureau suggests if you are being stalked to go to the following groups for assistance:

  1. The support network in your community may include hotlines, counseling services, and support groups.
  2. Trained victim advocates can provide information and a full range of support services, like assistance through the criminal justice process or help finding out about your rights as a stalking victims.
  3. You may be able to obtain a restraining order or a “no-contact” order through the clerk of court. These are court orders signed by a judge telling the stalker to stay away from you and not to have contact with you in person or by phone. It is not necessary for a civil or criminal domestic violence case to be filed for these orders to be issued.
  4. Most states authorize law enforcement to make an arrest for violation of such an order. Each jurisdiction and community may differ in the type of restraining order available and the process for application and issuance of orders.
  5. Local victim advocates can tell you how the process works in your community. Remember you do not have to allow this behavior or live with it because Stalking is a crime under the laws of 50 states, the District of Columbia, the U.S. Territories, and the Federal government.

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