So, you are on a dating site and a handsome man sends you a message that is articulately written with just the right amount of charm, humor and flattery to make your heart skip a beat and catch your attention.
You read his profile and it reads like a love novel written just for you. You think to yourself this is too good to be true.
Then you notice his status, “Separated.” Your bubble has burst and that sinking feeling hits your stomach like a lead balloon. You have had friends date men that are “separated” not yet “divorced.”
5 reasons to NOT date anyone until they have legally divorced!
- Well, besides the obvious they are legally still married. This is messy no matter which way you look at it. They still have a divorce coming up, and some are dating before either one has even filed. This can be a very long and tough road ahead that can get nasty. This is no way to start a relationship stuck in the middle of their divorce.
- Can you say “Rebound?” If they have not even finished their divorce yet, then they obviously have not had time to heal emotionally from the divorce. Some people are looking for a bandage or a rebound situation to get them through this unpleasant and painful experience. Divorce is not fun. This is not a fulfilling relationship for anyone on the other end of the equation.
- A very convenient excuse. Being still married can be used as an excuse many times when they are in a relationship. If they are feeling pressured to be a responsible or committed partner it is so easy to fall back on a convenient and oh so very true statement, “Sorry I can’t I am still married,” or “ I have to get a divorced first.” They may want all of the benefits of a relationship, but,when their new partner wants them to be responsible they step back very quickly to their safety shield of “non-commitment,” pointing out that they cannot commit due to their unfortunate marital status. Remember, this did not stop them from asking you out in the first place, or wanting to start the relationship while they were still married,
- Not ready to move on. You start a relationship before they are even divorced, so it can take years to get the divorce. Your relationship can develop over this time frame and you can fall very much in love and want to progress to the next level. When their divorce is final, you are ready for a commitment from them. Many newly divorced people do not want to make one because they just got divorced and feel they have not had an opportunity to get out and see what is “out there.” Somehow, they have jumped in too quickly and feel to commit again so quickly is a mistake.
- After divorce people need time on their own. It is important for a person to develop a sense of “who” they are after they have divorced. They need to finish all of the details of a divorce so they have a clean slate and can start fresh. They can concentrate on a new person and give them their full attention. If you want a relationship without added stress and heartache, tell them to call you back when their divorce is final and you would love to go out with them!
Originally syndicated:
http://www.yourtango.com/experts/ms-deni-abbie/5-reasons-never-date-someone-separated-not-yet-divorced