Healing/Divorce/FortWorthSitting there staring into space with that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach because you can’t stop thinking about him. Wondering what she is doing right now or who she is with? Wanting to know if you made the right decision when you told him to leave and never come back. Was it really the right decision to tell her you were not ready for a commitment and it was time to see other people.
If any of these questions resinate with you, or feel similar you were in a relationship that was not working for one reason or another. You or your mate ended the relationship and now you are trying to move on but you are left with doubt or anger but unfortunately feelings that make it very hard to move on.
Your feelings are raw and you do not know if you should try and put your relationship back together again or try and move on. You are not sure if it was a mistake to make the decision you did or if you were smart.
Here are some things to think about to help you make that decision:
Did you break up because he/she cheat on you?
If so beware that the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior so the chances are that this behavior will occur again. The extent of the behavior you don’t have to speculate, you just need to measure it. So if you are willing to live with this behavior you need to ask yourself “why” are you willing to remain in a relationship with someone that you know will lie, and cheat on you and will commit to you but then break it.
What causes you to settle for someone like that? Are your standards too low, or are you longing for a relationship with the person you want and hope they will be?
Don’t wait around for Change!
As long as you spend your time obsessed with this person and hoping they will change you are stopping yourself from having a better future. You cannot open up your heart for someone else if you are still living in the past. If you are seeing a repeat in their pattern and no change you will not likely see one. Don’t stay in a relationship because it is comfortable and you feel like it is safe and getting out and starting over is hard. It may seem safe but it is unhealthy and it will not help you get any better as long as you are there. Do not let our fear of getting back out in the dating world keep you in an unhealthy place.
Be Clear
Tell that person to get out of your life and stay out! You have to be very firm and stick with it. There is no way to heal if you are spending time with them.
You cannot hold all people of the opposite sex responsible for the same mistakes that your EX made. You have to learn to trust yourself and others again. You have to know you did the right thing and believe in yourself! All relationships there will be some pain that is part of caring. But there should be give and take and trust and respect.
Don’t beat yourself up about your last experience everything you went through gave you an insight to being a better you. Love is never easy and it will make you appreciate the right person that much more.
Focus on yourself
You will not be ready to get into another relationship until you have had time to heal your wounds of your past and have some closure. When you can feel some strength and peace with your past and have self confidence you go forward with a fresh attitude.
When meeting someone new listen to what they want out of life and in a mate and if they are similar to what you want and who you are then give it a chance. Do not try and be who they want or make them who you want and you will have a great new start.
For more information on getting over your EX contact me at [email protected]